Ghostbusters My Version
by Ron's Sweetie
Summary: My Version Of Ghostbusters. I hope you all like it. I tried to stay true to the movie but i added to it.
1. Chapter 1

Ghostbusters My Version

We begin Our story at the Collage where Dr Peter Venkman is trying out something new on two students.

After the male student left in a huff Peter talked to the female student, and asked her out.

Whenever Dr. Ray Stantz, and Dr. Egon Spengler's girlfriend walked into the room.

Ray "This is it this defentley it." Peter "Why Jackie what are you doing here taking Ray 101?"

Jackie "No Peter Egon asked me to come here with Ray to get some stuff so why don't go back to shocking geeks its what you do best." Ray "Leave her alone Peter."

Meanwhile back at the Libaray Egon was looking for any signs of ghosts whenever Jackie, Ray, and Peter showed up.

Peter picked up a book, and dropped it on the table. Egon jumped with fright.

Jackie "Peter your a jerk." Egon "Lets go catch a ghost." Jackie "Men are such boys."

Ray "Ecto Plasmic Resadue." Egon "I want sample of it to anyalze." Jackie "Get a sample Peter."

Peter "Egon your mucus." Jackie "Ahh." Peter "Has this to you before?" Ray"No." Peter "First time?" Ray "Yes."

Jackie walked away from the boys, and then she found the ghost. Peter,Egon, and Ray peaked their heads around to see it.

Ray hatched up a plan the boys walked towards the ghosts, and then Ray yelled "Get her."

Jackie, and the boys ran out of the libaray. And then went back to the collage.

When they got there the deen of the school was clearing out their machines. The deen had thrown them out of school.

The next day they went looking for a place for them to set up their Ghostbusting business.

Jackie was grossed out by the firehouse's state. Peter gave the realastate lady the money that Ray got for selling his childhood home.

The boys fixed it up. Then Peter hired Janine Melnitz as a secatary.  
Jackie, and Janine became very good friends.

A few weeks into the business Dana Barrett came to the firehouse saying that there was a ghost in her appartment. Peter went back to Dana's appartment.

That night the boys were eating, and Jackie was reading.

Jackie put her book down,and walked over to Egon,and then she kissed him. Meanwhile Janine was on the phone with a hotel owner.

Janine " Hello Ghostbusters yes of course their serious you do you have no kidding yueah just give me the address oh of course they'll totaly discrit thank you we got one!"

Ray "A call." Jackie "Oh darn." Egon "You want to come?" Jackie "You guys go I'll be here when you come back." Egon "Okay I love you." Jackie "I love you too."

The guys left, and went to the hotel. When they got there they looked all over for the ghost Ray was the first on who saw the ghost.

Peter was the first one to get slimed. They caught the ghost in the ballroom.

A couple of hours later the guys returned to the firehouse.

Egon went to the bunckroom to change, and bumped into Jackie coming out of the shower.

Jackie "You guys are back huh."  
Egon "Yeah we got the ghost."  
Jackie "That's good sorry I was just in the shower."

Egon "I can see that you look cold." Jackie "I always look cold after a shower or a bath."

Egon "Is the shower clean." Jackie "Yep enjoy,and I'll see you later tonight." Egon "Yes you will."

Jackie went to change. Egon took a shower,and then he went to see the woman he loved.

Jackie "Hi handsome tired?" Egon "Yes I am but I'd rather spend time with you."

Jackie "Egon you are so good to me." Egon "I love you with all my heart." Jackie "So do I, I love you love you the same way Egon."

The next day Janine hired Winston Zeddemore. He became the fourth ghostbuster.

That afternoon Peter asked Dana out on date for Thursday which was the same night as Louis Telly's party. Dana said yes then she goes home.

Meanwhile back at the firehouse Walter Peck shows up from the EPA he threatens to shut down the the contaiment unit, and Peter threatens to sue his ass for wrongful proccesation.

Winston "What do you mean the big?" Egon Well lets say this twinkie represents the normal amount pyshco canedic engery in the New York area acording to this morning sample it be a twinkie 35 feet weighing aproxmently 600 pounds.

Ray "Coughs" Winston "That's a big Twinkie." Jackie "Egon you're such a genious."

Egon "I know." Ray "We could be on the verge of a four fold cross rip PKE even darngerous prepoortions."

Peter "We just had visit from the EPA hows the grid holding up?" Winston "Not good tell em about the twinkie." Peter "What about the twinkie?"

Meawhile back at Dana's appartemnt Dana had just been kidnapped by a terror dog.

Louis Telly also got attcked by a terror dog.

And was running around New York looking for the gate keeper.

Peter was trying to have a date with a Dana that wasn't Dana.

Egon, Jackie, and Janine were hanging around the firehouse whenever the police dropped of Louis Telly.

Janine "You are so kind to care of that you know your a real humanatrian."

Egon "I don't think he's human." Jackie "He creeps me out." Egon "It will be okay."

Meanwhile Ray, and Winston were driving the car around the city talking about judgement day.

Meanwhile back at the firehouse the EPA showed up to shut the contaiment unit.

Janine "I tried to stop them they said they have a warrent." Egon "You can't shut it down."

Jackie "You'll distory the city if you do." Egon Boom in hand singnals.

Jackie "We need to run now RUN!" Egon "Clear the building!"

Louis "This is it this the sign." Janine Yeah its a sign alright going out of business." Ray "What happened?"

Egon "They shut down the protection grid." Winston "That's bad isn't it?"

Ray "Yeah." Jackie "That son of bitch I'm gonna kick his ass." Egon "No I will." Jackie "Stop Egon stop."

The Ghostbusters were arrested. Meanwhile Dana's window blew up.

While in Jail Egon, and Ray exsplain things to Peter, and Winston. Then they are let out to go to see the mayor.

The ghostbusters talk to the mayor, and he lets them go fight the ghosts.

Once they arrive at Dana's appartment building everyone is cheering, and screaming.

The guys look up, and see what's going on. They are scraed, and shocked.

Ray "We'll have to put some over time in on this one."

Then the ground began to shake, and crack the ghostbusters fell into a big whole.

Everyone was afraid that they hurt or even worse. Whenever they pulled themselves up.

The people cheering "They are, They are,YAY!" Peter "I was in no way prepared for that its alright we can handle it we can take it they want to play rough."

People Cheering "Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters." Peter "Wanna play rough lets go lets do it okay."

They went inside Dana's appartment building they climbed up the stairs to the floor Dana's appartment was.

They entered Dana's appartment, and walked up a flight of stairs to the very top of the building.

Jackie was in the crowd below watching, and waiting for Egon.

Whenever she saw that the guys were hanging off the edge of the building she managed to sneak past everyone else, and she got inside the building.

She ran upstairs to Dana's appartment when she got there she walked up the same steps the boys did.

When she saw them she ran to Egon. Egon was not happy to see Jackie there where they were fighting a ghost.

Egon "Jackie what are you doing up here?" Jackie "I was scared when I saw you hanging off the edge of the building."

Egon "You need to leave now so you don't get hurt." Jackie "I'm not leaving."

Gozer "The traveler has come choose or parish." Peter "What do you mean choose we don't understand."

Gozer "Choose, choose the form of the destruer." Peter "Empty your heads." Gozer "The chose was made."

Peter "Whoa, Whoa,Whoa." Gozer "The Traveler has come."

Peter "Nobody choosed anything did you?" Egon "No." Peter "Did you?" Winston "My mind is a total blank."

Jackie "It sure as hell wasn't me." Peter "I didn't choose anything."

Everyone walked up to Ray. And looked at him as if he just killed someone.

Ray "It just poped in there." Peter "What, what just poped in there?!"  
Ray "I I tried to think." Egon "Look !" Ray "No It can't be, It can't be."

Winston "What did you do Ray oh shit." Ray "Its the Stay Puffed Marshmellow Man."

Jackie "Oh My God Ray why?" Ray "I tried to think of the most harmless thing something that could never possibly distory us Mr. Stay Puffed." Peter "Ray has gone bye bye Egon what have you got left?"

Egon "Sorry Venkman I lost my campastiy for rashnel thought."

Winston "Oh no." Peter "Mother puss bucket hey nobody steps on a church in my town." Ray "One two three blast him."

Everyone ran, and hid so the Marshmellow man wouldn't find them.

Ray "Funny us going out like this killed by a 100 foot Marshmellow man."

Peter "Hey maybe we've been going about this all wrong this Mr. Stay Puffed is okay he's a salor he's in New York we get this guy laid we won't have any trouble."

Jackie "Is that all you ever think about Peter getting lucky?"

Peter "No comment." Jackie "Your such a dork Peter."

Egon "Will you two stop it?!" Jackie "Sorry Egon who raffled your feathers Janine?"

Egon "I've got it the door swings both ways we can reverse the partical flow threw the gate."

Peter "How?" Egon "We'll cross the streams." Peter "Excuse me Egon you said crossing the streams was bad."

Ray "Cross the streams." Peter "Your going to endanger us ,your endanger our client the nice lady who paid us in evance before she became a dog."

Peter "I love this plan I'm excited to be a part of it lets do it." Winston "This job denfently worth another five a year." Ray "Whoa." Egon "Hurry."

Peter "See ya on the other side Ray." Ray "Nice working ya Dr. Venkman."

Jackie stood back,and watched as the guys crossed the streams.

The last thing she heard was Peter yelling "Get the hell out of here!"

Everyone was covered in marshmellow. Jackie got up, and began to look for the guys.

The first two she found were Winston,and Ray.

Jackie "Are you guys alright?" Ray "Were fine are you alright?"

Jackie "I'm fine, where's Egon, and Peter?" Winston "I don't know."  
Egon "Is everyone alright?"

Ray "Yes, are you alright." Egon Yes "I'm fine." Jackie "I was worried about you forgive me for loving you Egon."

Egon "I love you Jackie come here." Jackie "So were okay?"  
Egon "Were okay." Peter "Just kiss her already."

Egon kissed Jackie witha lot of passion. Then they walked to where the terror dogs were standing.

Ray "Oh it smells like BBQed dog hair oh Venkman I'm sorry I'm sorry I just forgot." Jackie "Oh Peter I'm so sorry." Ray "Look !"

The Boys,and Jackie cracked opened a terror dog shell, and saved Dana.

They also saved Louis.  
Jackie watched as Peter,and Dana hugged eachother she was happy Peter had someone.

Everyone walked out of the appartemnt building. Peter, and Dana kissed eachother. People cheered.

Then Egon, and Jackie kissed eachother, and people cheered even more.

Everyone headed back to the firehouse. Egon,and Jackie alseep. And Peter,and dana asleep.

When they got back to the firehouse everyone went to bed.

The next day Jackie woke up, and got dressed into her blue jeans, and rose colored shirt.

Then she went for a walk when she came to Dana's appartment she looked up at the wreck.

Then she went back to the firehouse, and when she did she saw that Ray was awake making breakfast.

Jackie "Good morning Ray." Ray "Good morning Jackie sleep well?"  
Jackie "I guess."

Ray "What's wrong?" Jackie "Egon is so distint I think he's gonna break it off between us."

Ray "Aw I'm so sorry." Jackie "Thank you Ray."

Egon "Good morning Jackie would you like to go out to dinner tonight?" Jackie "Sure."

Jackie walked away from way,and Egon. Then she got dressed for her date.

Meanwhile Egon was getting ready for the as well.

Around 7:00 Egon,and Jackie went out on their date.

Egon "Jackie I love you but." Jackie "But what?"

Egon "I want to end things." Jackie "Why what did I do?"

Egon "Its not because of you its because the ghostbusters are no longer together."

Jackie "So you just want trow away what we have because you damb asses got in trouble with the city, and the mayor?" Egon "Yes I'm sorry." Jackie "Goobye Egon."

Jackie got up, and ran out of the resturant crying.

Then it started to rain. She was running in the rain back to the firehouse she was wet threw, and very sad.

She knew she had to get back, get her stuff , and leave her memories of Egon behind.

Hey everyone its Jackie. Here is my version of The first Ghostbuster flim.

I hope allof you can be kind,and like my story. If you don not like it please do not read and review it. Thank you. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

When Jackie got back to the firehouse she slid down the wall of the firehouse, and cried her heart out.

Janine "What's that noise?" Ray "I don't know it sounds like someone screaming and crying." Janine "Let's go see what the noise is." Ray "Its Jackie she's wet threw."

Janine "Bring her in quickly." Ray "Jackie can you hear me?" Jackie "Yes I can hear you Ray."

Janine "What happpened?"Jackie "Egon dumped me its over between us." Ray "I'm so sorry." Janine "Is there anything we can do?"

Jackie "Help me pack."  
Ray "Where are you going to go?"  
Jackie "I'll buy an appartemnt." Ray "At least you can stay here until you find a place."

Jackie "I can't it would be to strange being around here while Egon is still here." Ray "You can stay with me."

Jackie "You want me to stay with you?" Ray "Yes." Jackie "Here at the firehouse?"

Ray "Yes." Jackie "Alright I'll stay here with you Ray thank you for being so kind to me."

Ray "Your welcome." Jackie "I'm going to use the shower." Ray "Go ahead." Jackie "Thanks again Ray."

Jackie kissed Ray on the cheek, and then went to take a shower. Then Egon returned to the firehouse. He was sad, and distort.

When he went upstairs to change he saw that the bathroom door was shut.

He wondered who was in it. Then whenever he heard a female voice coming from the shower he knew it was Jackie.

Jackie "Oh hi Egon." Egon Hi "where are you going?" Jackie "To bed." Egon "Goodnight Jackie." Jackie "Goodnight Egon."

Egon watched Jackie walk away from him. He wanted her so bad but then he remembered he ended things between them that night.

Jackie walked back over to Egon, pushed him up against the wall, and then she kissed him.

Egon "Why did you do that? Jackie "So you don't forget me." Egon "I don't plan on forgetting you one last time please Jackie one more romantic moment for us."

Jackie "Alright one last time." Egon "Great." Jackie "You are a great man Egon now that we are over you can find someone else."

Egon "There is noone else for me out there like you." Jackie "Yes there is." Egon "Who?" Jackie "Janine."

Jackie,and Egon made love for the last time.

Then Jackie kissed Egon goodbye, got dressed, and left the firehouse.

As she was walking she came across an appartment she paid for it, and fell alseep on the couch.

The next day Ray woke up looking for Jackie ,and then he found a note she left Egon.

Ray got dressed, and headed Jackie's new appartment as Jackie was walking out the door she bumped into Ray.

Jackie "Ray come in please?" Ray "Thank you nice place." Jackie "Thank you I was just about to go to the store, and buy some food."

Ray "Could you use an hand carrying your gorcies?" Jackie "Sure your welcome to come." Ray "Great lets go."

Jackie, and Ray went to the store. He carried all of Jackie's bags.

He set them down on the counter, and then he turned to leave whenever Jackie grabed his arm.

She guided him to the couch. And then she began to kiss him.

Ray "Wow." Jackie "Really?" Ray "Yes come here lets take this to the bedroom."

Jackie "That sounds great to me." Ray "Wow your very beautiful." Jackie "I'm addverage Ray."

Ray "Not to me I've loved you for a long time ." Jackie "What?"  
Ray "I said I've loved you for a long time."Jackie "Why didn't you say anything?"

Ray "You, and Egon seemed so happy together I didn't want to ruin what you two had."

Jackie "You could have told me how you felt I wouldn't have minded."

Ray "Egon Is my best friend he probably would have beat the crap out of me if I said anything about my feelings for you when you two were together."

Jackie "Egon was the love of my life now I'm ready to move on." Ray "With who?"

Jackie "With you if you don't mind dating used goods." Ray "What used goods?"

Jackie, and Ray spent the night making love.

Jackie woke up to see if it was dream, and whenever she saw that Ray was still there she smiled, and went to sleep.

The next day Ray woke up real early Ray kissed Jackie goodbye, and went back to the firehouse so he could wake up there.

Whenever Jackie came running out of the bedroom, and jumped into Ray's arms he caught her then they walked back to the bedroom.

Ray "You don't want me to go to work do you you little minx?"

Jackie "Nope let them look for you I love you Ray, and I want you to stay with me."

Ray "Oh the hell with work." Jackie "Yay I got my Ray."

Jackie, and Ray made love again then fell asleep together.

Meanwhile back at the firehouse Peter had just woke up he looked at Ray's bed,and saw that Ray wasn't there.

He began to panic. He ran around in a rush trying find Ray.

Peter "Wake up boys Ray isn't in his bed." Egon "Peter what are you talking about?"

Peter "Look." Winston "Where could he be?" Peter "I don't know but I hope he's okay.'

Jackie, and Ray woke up, got dressed, and walked to the firehouse.

When they walked into the firehouse together Peter was standing there.

Jackie "Oh no Peter doesn't know that Egon, and I are over." Ray "I'll take care of it." Jackie "Good luck."  
Peter "What are you doing with Egon's girlfriend?"

Ray "Its none of your business Peter." Peter "You son of a bitch." Jackie "No leave Ray alone." Peter "Stay out of this."

Jackie "No I won't stay out of this you wanna know why Ray, and I are together I'll tell you why Egon dumped me because you stupid asses got into deep shit with the city,and the mayor and are not the ghostbusters anymore, and if you don't believe me ask Egon but don't you dare punch Ray or I'll knock you on your back so fast you'll think you got laid!"

Peter "Is what she said true Egon?" Egon "Yes it is." Peter "I'm so sorry Ray."

Ray "You should be sorry." Jackie "Yeah you should be come on Ray I'll see if I can fix your busted lip."  
Ray "Okay."

Jackie "Does your lip hurt?" Ray "A little." Jackie "I'm so sorry that it happened." Ray "Its not your flaut."

Jackie "I love you Ray." Ray "I love you too." Jackie "There that's better." Ray "Will you marry me?" Jackie "Yes."

Ray "You mean it you'll marry me." Jackie "Yes I mean it we should have secret wedding we can invite Janine."

Ray "I agree." Jackie "So when do we get married?" Ray "Tonight." Jackie "Where?"

Ray "The park." Jackie "I'll be there." Ray "So will I." Jackie "I love you Ray." Ray "I love you too."

Jackie "Well I better get back to my appartemnt, and pack we have a wonderful night ahead of us."

Jackie went home to her appartemnt and packed for her wedding after that she went to visit Janine she had told her that she, and Ray were getting married Janine gave Jackie a hug, and then the two women headed for the park. When they got there Ray was waiting for Jackie within 2 hours Ray, and Jackie were married.

Jackie, and Ray hugged Janine goodbye, and headed to a hotel in New York where they would spend their honeymoon.

A few weeks went by and it was time for Ray, and Jackie to come out of hiding. And when they did they were married. They were a happy married couple.

Peter "Isn't it the Stanz's." Jackie "Hi Peter." Peter "Hi Jackie I'm so sorry we didn't get along sooner."

Jackie "So am I your pretty cool Peter." Peter "So are you Ray she's a keeper." Ray "Yes she is." Jackie "I feel so loved."

Janine "Jackie Ray you guys are back we all missed you." Jackie "I missed you too Janine." Egon "Welcome back you two." Ray "Thank you Egon."

Winston "Ray congratultions man." Ray "Thank you Winston." Jackie "I guess we are one big happy family now that Ray, and I are married." Ray "Yes I guess we are."

Janine "So when are you, and Ray going start your own little family?" Jackie "I'm not sure we haven't talked about it much or at all really."

Ray "Very soon." Jackie "But not to soon we just got married." Janine "It will happen when your ready." Jackie "I'm so glad we are friends." Janine "So am I."

Janine, and Jackie hugged eachother. Then everybody got back to work. While Jackie went into the kitchen, and made herself some lunch.

She lied to everyone she,and Ray were going to have baby she lied to protect the baby.

She was scared Ray would get upset. While Jackie ate her lunch Janine walked into the kitchen.

Jackie "Janine can we talk?" Janine "Sure what's up?" Jackie "I lied to all of you Ray, and I are going to have a baby I was scared to say anything."

Janine "That's wonderful news I promise not to tell Ray." Jackie "Thank you Janine." Janine "Your welcome Jackie."

Janine went back to work. Jackie sat in the kitchen then she got up looked out the window put her hand on her stomach.

She watched the sun set she knew she had to tell Ray she was going to have a baby but she was so frighted by the thought of telling Ray, and having Ray get upset.

Ray walked into the kitchen, walked up behind Jackie wrapped his arms around her waist, and kissed the back of her neck.

Ray "You are so beautiful." Jackie "I'm also pregnant." Ray "Your what?" Jackie "I'm pregnant okay I said I'm pregnant." Ray "Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Jackie "Because of how your acting right now." Ray "I'm sorry for acting this way don't you think we should sit down, and talk about it?"

Jackie "What is there to talk about you don't want this baby so if that's how you want things Ray I'll go back to my appartment." Ray "Stay here please?" Jackie "Goodbye Ray."

Ray tried to stop Jackie from leaving but he couldn't. Jackie waved goodbye to Janine then she left.

When she got back to her appartment she ran into the bedroom, and cried.

Egon just happened to be in the neighborhood so he decided to stop,and see Jackie. He knocked on her door Jackie opened the door she fell into Egon's arms, and cried. Egon held her close. He felt bad for her.

Egon "Ray told me what happened." Jackie "He doesn't want me or the baby so I'm going to stay here away from him,and raise this child on my own I know how to do it I had to be a mother to my sister's kids." Egon "I knew you had a sister I just didn't realize you had to be a mother to her kids what was wrong with your sister why she never had to grow up?" Jackie "She was airhead, and she was perfect she always got out of being a mother." Egon "That was not fair to you having to give up your life for your sister." Jackie "It wasn't fair but I couldn't protest or say that I was tried of being my sister's whore I never had any freedom."

Egon "You should travel somewhere go see something that is familer to you." Jackie "I will, and I know just where to go."  
Egon "Where?" Jackie "England, and when I come back I'll ask Ray to give me a divorce so I can marry someone else." Egon "If that's how you wish to do things." Egon "It is Egon we should have stayed together but I'm we are friends." Egon "So am I willyou be alright?"  
Jackie "Yes I will be fine." Egon "I will see you when you come back then goodbye Jackie." Jackie "Goodbye Egon."

Jackie left the next day for the one place where she could be herself, and be happy England. She hasn't been there in along time not snice she lost touch with some friend that she used to know. She knew she's be welcome back into their lives espeically one cretin male person that she still loved the true man who made her feel alive, and special Ron. 


End file.
